Connections and coincidences

Me & my children, about the time I first met Anne.

A couple of years ago I discovered that a woman I’d been good friends with over forty years ago, was now living in the same city as me. I messaged Anne, and we met up, just the once, for she moved away soon after. Five years later I received a message to say my friend was back living in Auckland and suggested we meet, with partners this time. Kerry and I invited them for lunch, and a few weeks later we lunched at their place. As we were leaving Anne said to me, ‘We should meet for a coffee, ‘just the two of us, as we have so much to catch up on.’ Little did we know just how much.

Then

Back in our twenties, Anne and I spent a good deal of time together. We had children of similar ages, at the same school, and often we made time to meet during the day. Anne was a great gardener, and that I admired, as I never quite had the touch. I liked biking. I rode every day, but Anne not so much. I remember persuading her to come biking with me. We headed out on a hilly back road, no electric bikes then, and just three gears on our bikes. The going was tough, and some time was spent pushing our bikes uphill. We joined yoga classes and loved them. Anne started a small business selling flowers, and I resumed my art practice around the same time. I also started adult ballet classes. Then came a pivotal moment: Anne enrolled to study English at University. Oh my goodness!

I couldn’t imagine myself in Anne’s shoes, as I had left high school without qualifications. I was so impressed with what she was achieving, and a little envious I guess, wondering if I could ever do something similar. Well, it turned out I could, but that was many years later. At the grand age of fifty three, I had gained my first degree: a Bachelor in Education and Teaching. Five years later, I had myself a Masters in Creative Writing.

Now

Well, back to my old, yet new friend Anne. We met for lunch near my house a week ago, and immediately began catching up on many remembered times during our earlier days (like the bike rides). Anne, had taught high school (English and Drama) for years, and been head of department too. She had gone overseas on her own, several times, and had some interesting adventures. We swapped our ‘on our own’ adventure stories, and were amazed at what each of us had done. I asked if she had married again, as her name had changed (something I had assumed). What came next surprised me. ‘I never remarried,’ she said, ‘but decided to change my name, by deed poll.’ Oh my goodness!

I had changed my name by deed poll in 1996, and as it turned out, so had Anne. And even more of a coincidence followed, when we learned we had each taken a grandmother’s maiden name to replace our former surnames. We also re-remembered that we each had Margaret as a middle name. We still share a keen interest in books, reading and writing, but have added so many more interests to that list. I’m sure that we will meet again soon to discover how much more we have in common.

10 thoughts on “Connections and coincidences

  1. What a lovely photo of you and your children. Meeting old friends and sharing life-experiences is so very special. I wish I had the opportunity to meet my old school friends again. But alas, we lost contact many years ago. I wish you and your new/old friend many visits and many wonderful memories.

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  2. I didn’t know about this deed poll name changing you mention. I don’t think we have anything like this in Canada. It’s always interesting meeting up with old friends. So much history and shared memories. It’s great that you still have much in common and that you will keep in contact in the future. Also, I was surprised to find out that you received your degree at 53. That’s really a great achievement!

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  3. The Deed Poll is an official way of making a name change if one desires, if not through marriage, for example. If one just calls themselves a name, they will find they cant use it for passports, banking or similar. Yes, meeting the old friend was special, as was going to university late in life.

    It has been interesting to look back at the insecure and rather hopeless person I felt myself to be. It took some courage to work through that, but I am so pleased the effort was worth it, and how I now love to challenge myself. Thank you for your response, always appreciated.

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